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How to date a girl [As told by an Alpha]

date a girl

Every girl is different. Thus there is no one key to dating girls. What impresses one girl can be what will make another girl never want to speak to you again.

However, there are certain rules that holds true when you are dating a girl, no matter her particular preferences. These rules will help you navigate the potholes that you may encounter, such that even if the lady doesn’t like something, she will give you another chance to make dating her a success.

Trusted universal rules of dating a girl

  1. You must project confidence, as this is one of the most attractive traits. Just focus in your mind on something that you are very good at and remember that everyone has things they are bad at. This will build your confidence
  2. Be genuine even as you are confident. This is because arrogance and cockiness is a big turn off. Confidence that gets admiration of others is the one combined with grace and humility. Confidence also means you do not need to brag.
  3. As much as you can, always present yourself well in neat and fashionable clothes. Use deodorants, and pay attention to your nails and shoes. Do not forget number 2
  4. Compliment her generously, but do not focus on her external appearance. When you compliment her looks, ensure you are complimenting her taste in picking out her style, e.g. colour of her dress, smell of her fragrance etc.
  5. Do not make sexual comments about her appearance at the beginning. You need to gauge her level of tolerance in such before you delve fully into it
  6. Whenever you are talking to her, say things you actually mean. Do not pretend to listen to her but pay attention. This will enable you understand her better
  7. Ask a lot of questions and follow up with comments that let her know you’re listening and care about what she’s saying.
  8. Do not play hard to get. Do not change the amount of energy you are giving her or retuning. Try and be consistent in your communication.
  9. Yes, consistency is important but do not become a boring predictable person. You should give her some romantic surprises once in a while.
  10. You need to introduce her to your friends. This will signal to her that she is important to you.

How to date a girl if you met her online

Social media apps
Social media

Now that dating apps and websites have become the norm, knowing how to talk to women online is an important skill since you are mostly limited to texts. You’re missing a lot of other social cues we tend to rely on when we meet new people like facial expressions, tone and body language.

However, you can still use many of the same fundamentals in real life online when dating, like:

  1. When dating a girl you met online, the aim is to be more engaging and show your personality.
  2. Try getting to know each other quickly and build enough comfort to set up the first physical date.
  3. Confidence is key confidence is a trait that every single person finds attractive. If you can come across as a calm, confident guy you’re already helping your chances. One great thing about text conversation is you have time to think about your responses.
  4. Compliments are okay as long as you’re creative. If you’re going to use compliments in your online conversations, make them genuine and creative. “You have beautiful eyes” as your second message it’s a little weird and off-putting.
  5. Be honest about your intentions. Authenticity is important to online dating and text conversations. It’s okay to be sexual, just don’t be a creep.

How to date a girl if you are the shy type

For shy individuals most of the time, the chances that they will not ask somebody out is higher than being rejected. Fortunately, there are various things you can do to help build the confidence needed to pull the trigger on asking a lady out and afterward getting her to turn into your better half.

  1. Work on looking good. Unless you think you look good in public, you cannot be confident. Spend some time in the gym and overhaul your wardrobe if there is need to.
  2. Humour works very well in breaking the ice so if you are not normally funny, try to develop a slight sense of humour that you can sneak in during uneasy times.
  3. Make platonic friends with girls. This will let you practise conversations with girls without the pressure that romance sometimes bring into chats. It will also help you understand how girls think
  4. With your new-found social circle, you will find several available women that you are attracted to. Ensure you verbally ask them out. If they reject you, be polite about it and continue relating to them as friends. You can also try online dating services to meet women.
  5. Don’t wait for the perfect girl. Once you feel you have a lot of female friends, then you are ready to make a move on the girl you are attracted to. Once she says yes, your knowledge from your female friends (and there relationships) will guide you.

How to date a girl via WhatsApp alone

Congratulations! You have got her to agree to chatting with you via WhatsApp and even taken it a step further. Now is the time to ensure that the dating goes smoothly and even get to a much higher level.

Here is how you can keep her engaged and retain her interests in you

  1. Be Unique. Set yourself apart from the others with whom she may be conversing. This can be achieved if you are genuine with her in your conversations
  2. Ensure that your energy level is consistent. Do not change the way and manner in which you send or respond to her messages.
  3. Ask uncommon questions. These questions will cause her to think about herself and what she wants. These will show you off as someone interested in her. ‘What is the best advice you’ve gotten from your parent?”, “What your favourite part of your job?” and “What is your most important goal you want this year?” are some examples of such questions.
  4. Respect who and what they are, and change accordingly. Allowing these differences to ruin your beautiful time together is not a good idea.
  5. Come on. It’s okay to use emojis and memes. Make extensive use of this to make her laugh. Because of that, she will love you even more.

How do you date a girl if she already has a boyfriend

Every romantic aspiration comes with possible rejection or embarrassment. This is more of a possibility if the woman has a boyfriend. Thus it is important to treat the situation delicately.

Here is what to do when the lady you want has a boyfriend

  1. Assess the situation and decide if the feelings you have are enough to make a play for her. You need to ask yourself if the feeling will pass away with time or it will continue no matter what
  2. If no, abort the mission. If yes, then you have to start off by being her friend. Make her feel at ease with you. This stage will also makes it easier for you to do no 1 above.
  3. Flirt with her while giving her full attention when you are together. Treat her with respect and attention so she always look forward to hanging out with you.
  4. Drop hints that you do not mind being with her. This can be easily done whenever you pay her compliments, for example “Thanks for today. I really love spending time with you. Would love to do more of it”. You can also achieve this with appropriate physical touches when you are together.
  5. If you do step 3 and 4 well, she will be the one who will make the next move. If she comes to you for advice, be firm and confident in letting her know what you want but that you trust her judgement. That confidence in yourself will be the clincher that will make her choose you.

How to date a girl for the first time

Dating can be somewhat scary, no matter your experience or who you are. There is nothing off about prepping yourself before diving in. Here is what you need to bear in mind as you prepare to date a girl for the first time:

  1. Start your conversations with something interesting and it’ll really help you set the right tone for the rest of your conversation. When in doubt or nervous, use humour to lighten the mood. Say or do something funny or interesting but keep it respectful.
  2. Ladies like men who are confident. Even if you are not a naturally confident person, you can learn to project that image while you work on the real thing. For example, rather than vaguely asking if she’d like to do something, sometime make a suggestion like “we should head to that bar next Friday, I hear that sangria is amazing”. That’s so much better than “if you’re free sometime and wanted to hang out maybe we can go do something”.
  3. Focusing on common interests help you to create build trust and comfort.
  4. Be honest to her as there’s a level of trust that has to be established. The best way to do this is to be open with her and take a genuine interest in who she is. If you can both nail these, trust and comfort will naturally start to build since you’re being genuine showing her who you are and actually caring about what she’s into.
  5. Remember she’s actually a real person and thus is probably as nervous as you are. Make her feel more at ease by regularly complimenting her.

date a girl

Other dating related concerns you might have

How do you make a girl fall in love with you?

To make a girl fall in love with you, you have to be a man of good self-esteem, confidence and goals. If you can make her laugh, prioritize and pay attention to her, really listening to her instead of just “hearing” her, and treat her well with respect, she will love you in no time

What do you say to a girl on a date?

Discussing the various television series and must-see films you’re watching, or your most loved books can is a good, safe topic of discussion. This will help your establish common interests and build rapport and trust.

How do I tell a girl to be my girlfriend?

Ask her out on a date and if this goes well, ask her for another. After three or more date filled with honest discussions and you are sure she’s into you, then ask her if she would like to be your girlfriend as this will make you happy. Do this at an appropriate time and she will likely say yes.

How impress a girl on a date?

Be confident, clean and don’t try too hard to impress. Trust in what your identity is and this will bring similar individuals around you. Listen and be attentive to her. Ask her questions about herself. Do about 50% of the talking =. Don’t forget, she’s also trying to impress you!

How can I impress a girl I like?

Everyone, including you, has at least one thing that is very impressive about them. Find yours, figure a low-key way to show this (these) off without bragging and engage her in conversation topics about her likes and she would be impressed.

How do I impress a girl for the first time I meet her?

Trying to use some cunning pickup line or clever comment will most likely make you sound like you are an average guy, and may leave you caught off guard for whatever her reply is. It’s better to use the circumstances happening then in a humorous way to get her attention and keep it by asking her open-ended questions about herself.

 Can you kiss on the first date?

Kissing on a first date is absolutely your choice and the other person. As no two first dates are the same, it’s dependent upon you to conclude if you’d prefer to kiss this individual. If enough trust and comfort has been established in honest conversations, the kiss will happen spontaneously.

How can I impress a girl by chatting?

You don’t impress a girl by bragging, rather by allowing her to talk about what interests her and telling your own experiences with those things that interest her. So let her speak and ask a lot of open-ended questions like “What book or movie has fascinated you recently?” and “What superpower will you ask God for if he asks you to pick one?”

How can I attract a unknown girl?

Women love direct, confident and funny men. Walk up to her or chat her up. Be pleasant and confident with a dash of decency. Don’t be pushy as the process of falling (not pushing!) in love is fast for some and slow for others. Remember that all your friends were also unknown at a time.

How do u make a girl miss u?

You can make a girl miss you by making sure you are on her mind throughout the day. This you can do by checking up on her when you are apart, giving her something she will use regularly, treating her well when you are together and asking her questions about her passions.

How can I be attractive?

Being attractive is about physical appearance and how one carries oneself. Working on these separately and collectively will make one more attractive physically (by grooming yourself well and dressing neatly) and having the right mindset (by being real, talking with purpose, listening more, walking with your head up and looking people in the eye).

What should be the first message to a unknown girl?

You should never ask for a phone number the first time you are chatting with a girl. The first message should be a very short, yet humorous introduction of yourself, for example “Hi, my name is Ben. No, not Ben Affleck the actor nor Spiderman’s uncle. Though I won’t mind being either of them”

Author Profile

Yẹmí Noble
Writer, photographer and physicist, 'Yemi loves reading, football and searching for the interconnectedness of things.

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